Can I ask…how much are you being paid?

I love a conversation that makes me question what I believe - and I just had one.

I have a female mentee starting her career. She’s driven, talented, intelligent. She wanted my guidance – she’d asked a colleague what she was paid. She perceived a little frostiness in the response. Did she do the wrong thing?

With a confident “yes…it was the wrong thing to do” I proceeded to share my views on overstepping boundaries, good manners, professionalism and the rest.

With complete logic and honesty, she responded “but how am I supposed to know if I’m being paid fairly, unless I ask?”

And I stopped.

How often in my career was I paid less because I didn’t know I deserved more? This culture of secrecy around salary is interesting right?

And the law is catching up – I just saw that from June 2023 Pay Secrecy Clauses can’t be included in employment contracts or other written agreements in Australia.

This could get very interesting, very fast.

I wonder how long before the inherent culture of non-transparency changes though – and what will happen when it does? It’s something to think about.

The stuff we don’t talk about

The other day I was chatting to someone about awareness of menopause at work. And I think it’s great that more organisations are talking about a topic that has been taboo for too long. 

But there are so many other things we often don’t talk about at work – loneliness, bullying, prostate problems, exclusion, menstruation, miscarriage, IBS, overwhelm, bereavement, domestic abuse, anxiety and so many more. They all can impact work performance and engagement. 

I’m wondering why people can feel more comfortable raising these topics in a coaching session but not in a conversation at work. Or with their leader.

Maybe they don’t believe they’ll still be valued. Maybe they’re worried they’ll go in the ‘too hard basket’ or their reputation as a superstar will be tarnished.

I think it depends on how much you trust the person you’re telling. It all comes down to the relationship. And it can be hard to build those real relationships in a hybrid world. It requires sustained and intentional effort to build authentic and strong work relationships. I’m not seeing a lot of that effort right now. A weekly WIP just isn’t going to cut it.

So…would you tell your leader that you’re struggling because your beloved dog (or cat) has passed? Or would you make up another excuse? And does it really matter anyway?

Yikes!

 This is my first video for Linkedin and I’m way out of my comfort zone. I recorded 5 different versions. I agonised over whether I should post it. I know that I will probably look back on it in a year (when I’m more accomplished) and cringe. So why do it?

I’m walking the talk.

As a coach, I actively encourage my clients to lean into discomfort so they can grow. Sometimes they need a gentle (or not so gentle) nudge. Sometimes they borrow the confidence that I have in them.

I’ve also made this video without my usual ‘armour’ of makeup and corporate clothes. That felt uncomfortable too.  Sometimes it’s being authentic or vulnerable or exposing yourself that feels like a risk.

Risks are sometimes worth taking though. Life would be a little too safe without them.

I don’t think I really got it…

I know, I know – like me, you’ve probably seen this quote a thousand times. But yesterday whilst I was listening to a podcast, for the first time, I really got it.

That you can be told that you that you are incapable or worthless or flawed or boring (or whatever) and you have a choice. Do I believe this? Is it true for me? Do I consent to seeing myself this way?

What’s interesting for me as a career and leadership coach, is that often the person telling you that you are inferior is you. It’s your own internal narrative spinning this story. These narratives are often screaming at us just when we need them to be quiet – when taking on a new challenge or navigating career change, or looking for a new role. Times when we need our confidence and optimism. You need to really challenge that narrative. Just because you think it, it doesn’t make it true.

Such an interesting start to 2023...

Everyone is wanting a face to face this year. After years of zoom meetings predominating, I'm finding that almost all of my new coaching clients this year are keen to have a "real" meeting. I'm delighted of course - zoom meetings are convenient (for both coach and client) and of course they are always an option. But still, there is something about the energy when you are both in the same room. What do you think?

I decided last year that I wanted to give my clients this option so I've been trialling co-working spaces in Sydney's CBD - which is really fun. Currently at The Commons in George St on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays and loving the vibe.

Feel free to reach out if you're interested in support through coaching in 2023 to tess@nextcoaching.com.au. Always happy to have an obligation (and cost) free chemistry chat to see if we're a good fit together. It can be a first small step to a big year.

“I had these giant ideas and then you get older…”

Jennifer Coolidge gave a very funny speech after winning a Golden Globe for her work in The White Lotus last week. It’s worth a look (so is the series) and you can view it at bit.ly/3CFOZ03

“I had such big dreams and expectations as a younger person but what happens is that they get sort of fizzled by life or whatever” she says. You can tell she is thrilled and kind of surprised that she’s won her first Golden Globe at the age of 61. Perhaps she thought she was past it. She’s just beginning.

The fabulous Michelle Yeoh, age 60 and Angela Bassett, age 64 also won on the night.

I feel that – right now – mature women are really starting to feel and use their power. Role models are critical - after all, if you can #SeeHer you can be her. Yet so often I’m coaching older people who are worried that they’ve left their run too late. Or that they’re past their prime.

You get old when you stop growing. 

I’ve taken a few risks myself over the past few months. As a coach I know we have to avoid stagnation - and the slow rot that accompanies it. The truth is that change is usually hard - but also necessary and kind of exciting. 

My advice is to keep learning, don’t be too safe and maybe take the occasional (considered) risk. At any age.

It’s not over, until it’s over. 

And that's a wrap

After 7 years as an Associate at Randstad Risesmart, I’m leaving this week.

I’ve had an amazing time and have absolutely loved facilitating workshops galore and coaching many 100s of participants and executives – it has been a privilege to play my small part in their life and work journey.

And the people I’ve worked with have been incredible.

I’d like to especially acknowledge the amazing Alison Hernandez and Catriona Byrne – founders of Sageco where it all began. Working with their magnificent energy, drive and purpose has truly inspired me.

I’ve had so many great colleagues - some of whom have become friends. You know who you are. I know we’ll continue to advise, encourage and support each other going forward.

Way back in 2015, I was first interviewed by the divine Jaime Halward. We clicked in that very first conversation and we’ve been clicking ever since! Her friendship, generosity, loyalty and general joie de vivre have added immeasurably to my life. She was there on the first day and – as you can see in this photo - she was there on the last day too! Thank you.

What’s next for me? Part of my time has always been dedicated to my own business and I am now so excited to focus fully on it and explore other professional opportunities that come my way. If you’re interested in exploring coaching or workshops for your team in 2023, please reach out to me at tess@nextcoaching.com.au

You're welcome

"Thank you for equipping me with the tools and confidence to pursue this amazing job". 

I love being a coach.