Purple rain

I love Jacaranda season in Sydney – it’s absolutely my favourite time. Now the purple pathways are signalling that it’s almost over for another year – one good storm and that’s it for 2024.

Every year it goes so ridiculously fast and (not to sound macabre) it makes me ask myself, how many Jacaranda seasons have I got left? Maybe I’ve got 30, but maybe I’ve only got 10, or 2 or none...

Our time is not unlimited – but we all tend to forget that immutable truth. Forget New Years, it’s Jacaranda time that makes me ask myself the big questions – what do I want? Am I being true to myself? Where could I grow? Could I be more courageous? How do I want to live my life?

So…what does all this have to do with executive coaching?

Coaching is about reflection and growth. It gives you space to consider the smaller, more pragmatic questions and the big ones. It’s powerful because it gives you the opportunity to think about what you really want, and who the best, most authentic, version of you could be. At work and in life.

Memento vivere.

If you’re interested in a coaching program with me in 2025, reach out for a complimentary and obligation free chemistry session to tess@nextcoaching.com.au

Should we really be talking about confidence...or courage?

Earlier this week, in a coaching conversation, my client requested that we work on increasing her confidence.

I’ve had this conversation before of course – it’s a great topic and one that many clients wrestle with.

And certainly, we can (and did) talk about recognising and overcoming negative self-talk, the physical ‘in your body’ aspects of confidence, looking for evidence - all the logical stuff.

But ultimately (in this session at least) I asked the question, “should we really be talking about confidence or courage?”.

Because another approach is to just accept that (right now at least) you are experiencing a lack of confidence. And maybe acknowledge that as humans we all feel that feeling. And then do what you need to do. Move forward in line with your values and goals.

That’s courage.

And ultimately it will build confidence.

Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect

This week I’ve had quite a few coaching conversations about work-life boundaries. This is such a critical conversation for so many of my coaching clients - and one where I often push their boundaries!

The most successful people I’ve coached have strong boundaries and are successful in all senses of the word. People who do amazing work but also leave time for recovery, relationships, and a great life.

What do poor boundaries look like? A little different for everyone to be honest. But they’re often signalled by some resentment or a lack of self-care. I think they look like regularly checking work emails when you're on holiday. Or responding to an email at 9.30pm. They look like getting a head start on your work week on a Sunday afternoon. Or working when you're on sick leave.

I can absolutely get some pushback from clients on this one. 

Especially if they’ve become conditioned to working long hours over many years. Sometimes they don’t think it’s even possible to do their job in “normal hours”. Or if they have a strong identity as a “hard worker”. Maybe their parents had to work long hours and they’ve never really reflected on that expectation in their own life. Or they have imposter syndrome and secretly believe “I have to work hard to make up for the fact I’m not really good enough”. 

And I get that your leader may have poor boundaries and expect that you’ll respond to that email or text after dinner. Don’t even get me started on how important it is if you are a leader to role model strong boundaries – the damage you do to your team with your behaviour can be far reaching and impactful.

But here’s the thing. Your organisation will probably not set the boundaries. Neither will your leader. 

It’s your responsibility to set your boundaries. You draw the line in the sand. You make it clear to others what you will accept. They may not like it - and that’s okay because it’s not up to you to make everyone happy.

Your job is to demonstrate that you can do your role well AND maintain your boundaries. If your organisation (or leader) has no respect for that, there is most certainly a problem.

And always remember – in both your professional and personal life – that the people most upset when you enforce your boundaries are the ones that benefitted from you having none.

What do you think?

Wow! Where did that go?

I can’t believe it’s the 1st of August and so much of the year has gone already. I know I’m not the only one. Time seems to be slipping by faster than ever before. I often wonder why – and think it’s because we’re stuck in cycles of perpetual busyness.

But of course, that doesn’t mean we are busy on the stuff that really matters. The important stuff. To us - personally.

Maybe your year has whirled by, and you haven’t achieved what you wanted. Perhaps you don’t really know what you want (but you’re pretty sure it’s not what you’ve got).

You may want to give coaching a try.

In lives where there is no time for anything but the next thing, coaching is a chance to take a breath. To reflect. To be challenged. And supported. To have a conversation that really matters.

Should you be playing it safe?

Often when I ask a client “What do you want in your future career?’, the answer will be a version of “I want safe”.

I get it. Perhaps there are commitments or responsibilities. Sometimes they’ve survived an organisation that felt like a war-zone and they need some peace. Maybe you just don’t like change (humans generally don’t).

But here’s the thing… if by ‘safe’ they mean a secure role in an organisation where they can be sure they’ll keep their job - well I’ve got some bad news. Because I don’t think that sort of safe exists in a world where all the rules have changed.

The good news is that you can protect yourself - but maybe not the way you think. Proactively managing your career is the key. That means taking control of your brand and getting it out there - consistently. What does this look like for you?

Isn’t it all life coaching really?

One of the lovely aspects of being a coach is that new people I meet are often interested in what I do. This didn't happen when I worked in the world of Chartered Accounting! 'Are you a life coach?' is a question I often get asked and I'm never quite sure what to answer...

To keep it simple, I'll often say that I'm a career coach. Or a leadership coach. Sometimes a transition coach. Or a personal brand coach. Just because it's easier for people to be able to label you. But to be honest I'm a life coach too.

People are complex, coaching is fluid, and one goal can easily morph into something much more important - life changing even.

All coaching is coaching. I work with your energy, knowledge, goals, fears, motivations. I ask questions and give you space to reflect. I challenge and support you in change, in fulfilling your potential and becoming "unstuck". 

Ultimately you are the expert on you, and I help you get your own answers - whatever you want to call it.

You’ve caught me in a somewhat philosophical mood…

On my way to the bus this morning, I saw this message in my neighbourhood. It’s one of my favourite quotes from American author, poet, and civil rights activist – the wonderful Maya Angelou.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”.

For me this deceptively simple statement reminds me to be gentle with myself. To forgive myself for stuff I did when I just didn’t know what I do now.

A regular theme that comes up in my coaching is self-compassion. Generally, my clients seem much more inclined to mentally flog themselves than to give themselves a break. I often try and help them to see that a wiser approach is to be more humane and forgiving with themselves. Understand that you did the best you could (in that moment, at that time, in those circumstances).

We learn as we go. Sometimes we stuff up. But the problems, challenges, and difficulties that we face, become our greatest learnings. And we become stronger (and wiser) in overcoming them.

And of course, a gentler, kinder approach gives you the space (and grace) to ask yourself that most important of all coaching questions “what is this here to teach me?”.

Memento vivere.

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"Best presenter I’ve had in the 6 times I’ve come to Elysia"
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Over the weekend I was a guest speaker at the beautiful Elysia Wellness Retreat in Pokolbin, Hunter Valley - stunning Wonnarua country. The workshop was wonderful (and I’m so grateful for this feedback) but also loved the swimming, pilates, meditation, sound bathing and even the cardio box (bit sore afterwards though!). It's a tough gig but someone has to do it!