For a long time, we’ve told ourselves that careers are built by being the smartest, toughest or most impressive person in the room (thanks Darwin!).

But there’s a different idea gaining traction. The “survival of the friendliest”.

The premise is simple. In social systems, those who thrive are often the people who are good at cooperation, trust, emotional regulation and connection. Friendliness is a survival advantage.

I see this play out constantly in organisations.

Opportunities, referrals, promotions and influence rarely come from competence alone. They tend to flow toward people who:

• are easy to work with

• generous with their knowledge

• trustworthy and trust

• practice reciprocity

• are good in conversation

• can collaborate rather than compete

Skills in conversation, connection and building community will supercharge leadership skills, team dynamics and organisational effectiveness. And for career management and personal brand, success depends as much on how we relate as what we know. Being ‘friendly’ isn’t soft – it’s strategic.

And it starts in everyday conversations.

PS For more information see:

The Survival of the Friendliest (2019) by evolutionary biologist Brian Hare and Vanessa Woods

https://www.amazon.com.au/Survival-Friendliest-Understanding-Rediscovering-Humanity/dp/0399590684