I've absolutely devoured the 'Wiser than me' podcast by Julia Louis Dreyfus (link in comments). Wondering why we don't hear from more older women, she interviews greats like Carol Burnett, Isabelle Allende, Fran Lebowitz, Diane von Furstenburg, Amy Tan and Jane Fonda. The interviews are funny and wise and thoroughly entertaining.
Learning from, and listening to, these gutsy, unconventional, smart, strong, flourishing women has me inspired and seeing the future Tess through a different lens. If they can live their lives with such courage and energy at 75 or 80 or 90, then so can I. If you see it - you can be it.
Towards the end of each interview, she asks a couple of questions.
What would you tell your 20 year old self?
What would you go back and say yes to?
How would you answer?
Pick your poison
Nothing is perfect. No person or relationship, no house or dwelling, no system or organisation and certainly no job. When you enter a new role (or commit to a new relationship or buy a new house) you’re probably unaware of the irritations, imperfections and flaws you will inevitably encounter.
Ultimately your ongoing commitment (and whether you stay or leave) will depend on whether you can live and work (contentedly) with (or despite) these flaws.
If your work leaves you feeling ignored, undervalued, or abused
If your personal or professional growth is blocked
If you have no energy, purpose, or motivation
If you’ve been unhappy, resentful or angry for a while now
Well then if might be time to reflect on whether the particular brand of poison you’re drinking is lethal. It may be killing your spirit. That’s a price that could be too high to pay.
Keeping it real
My favourite type of networking is easy, fun and involves interesting conversations with no (transactional) agenda. The kind where you just turn up as yourself and no one is doing a hard pitch.
That’s just what I got this week at Collabor8 Women’s lovely dinner at ESQ in the city. A big thank you to the talented and divine Karen Eck and Samantha Theron who brought us all together and are the masterminds behind this great organisation.
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do" Steve Jobs
I love facilitating workshops and (for me) this week's absolute highlight was my workshop for MBA candidates and alumni at The University of Sydney Business School
Full disclosure - I forgot to take a photo (this is more indicative of the occasion than the actual occasion!)
I am grateful for the generous feedback and comments which included:
"her delivery method was great! It kept me very attentive, and I enjoyed every minute of it. It didn’t feel like 2 hours"
"Tess was extremely engaging, honest and thought provoking"
"makes everyone feel like part of the conversation
"love the energy"
"great energy, great involvement of people"
"very inspiring”
Be you (part two)
Last week I posted about showing up authentically.
I've since found this wonderful little poem from Shel Silverstein.
When you show up as who you (really) are, the people who will like you, understand you, support and "get" you, will be able to recognise you much more easily.
This is as true professionally, as it is personally. So be brave and be you.
Be you
As I continue to grow (both personally and professionally), I'm getting better at showing up "real". Without the layers of protective armour that we all grow to try and protect ourselves. I'm less willing to sacrifice authenticity for approval.
I'm saying what I think. Dressing how I want. Listening to my body and working with my moods and energy as well as my values and purpose. Telling my truth. Not apologising when I'm not sorry.
And I've noticed something.
The more "me" I am, the more others trust me. People intuitively know when someone is being fake. Their gut tells them. And why should they reveal themselves to you, if you won't show who you really are.
Trust is important in all relationships, and it is incredibly important in coaching.
So, my advice? Be so authentic that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too.
Looking up
Looking up
I’m seriously rethinking my relationship with my iPhone. I’m working on (literally) looking up, not down.
And as a result, life is becoming calmer and sweeter and more joyful. I’m feeling more creative too. I’ve enough mental space for ideas to germinate and clarity to emerge.
1 hour a day is my “allowance” of screen time as my (admittedly imperfect) guide. 28 hours a month – it still sounds like a lot but it’s hard.
I know what addiction looks like and this “itchy” feeling of wanting to reach for my phone constantly feels a lot like that. And of course, it’s not as easy as locking it away or leaving it at home and denying my access. I still want the convenience it offers with access to messages, calls, TripView, Wallet and a dozen other useful apps.
So (for me) it’s all about flexing the muscle – learning to have access to the phone, but not abuse it. And I’m doing okay. What about you?
Just fabulous
At 106 years old, tattoo artist Apo Whang-Od from the Philippines is the oldest person ever to appear on the cover of Vogue. For the full article https://vogue.ph/magazine/apo-whang-od/
I know there is a long way to go, but I'm so happy to be living at a time where there is heightened awareness of diversity and inclusion, concepts of beauty are evolving, and ageist stereotypes are beginning to crumble.
How wonderful. For all of us.
